Slipping Away
by shootingeverystar
Summary: Anthony has been haunted by a girl in his dreams. What will happen when he finally meets her in real life? (WARNING : Cutting, Suicidal thoughts, crude language.) You no like. You no read. Anthony is a little OOC and Stella is my OC. BTW My first fic! Reviews are loved!
1. Chapter 1

I stop dead in my tracks. There's a girl in front of me. Her hair is a beautiful black that reaches down to her ribs, she has amazing green eyes that pierce into me. Shes wearing a black long sleeved tee shirt, then dark blue skinny jeans with high top converse. She's beautiful. No gorgeous. She see's me staring and falls to her knees. She rolls up her sleeves and shows me her scars.

_Her scars. From cutting herself._

"Anthony! Help me!" She screams I try to run over to her but I can't, there's something separating us. Suddenly her arms start bleeding. I start to cry as she falls to the ground dead with a knife in her hand.

"NO!" I scream. Oh god, not that dream again. I was covered in sweat and crying. "Anthony! Are you okay?" I hear Ian yell as he runs into my room. "Yea, I'm fine, just a bad dream." I say as I walk to the bathroom.

(Okay Stella's POV...)

I watched the street lights fly by as I drove. The farther I could get away from 'that place' the better. For my mental and physical being. Any minute now and I'd be out of the damn city. I felt relief as I saw the sign that said 'approaching city limits'. I know when get past that sign I'll finally be free. I hope.

I was forty-five miles out when my phone started buzzing in the seat next to me. So someone actually noticed I was missing. I picked it up and saw that it was a call coming from my best friend Katrina. I picked up the call and she immediately started screaming into the phone "Stella you ditched another one of your therapy sessions! And where the hell are you?" Oh god how was I going to explain that I had left Portland (Oregon) and was moving by myself down to Sacramento. "Umm... Katrina. I need you to listen. I left. I'm going down to California. I'll call when I can." I hung up the phone and tossed it back onto the passenger seat. Immediately it started buzzing again. "Katrina I can't talk to you right now." I said to the air as I ignored the call. God, she's gonna kill me.

* * *

Nine hours later I had finally made it to Sacramento. I drove down a random street and parked in front of a little blue house. And nodded off.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with the feeling of eyes boring into the side of my head. I put my aviators on the top of my head. I looked over and saw a young man. Dark brown hair and mocha eyes. I scooted over and rolled down the passenger side window. "Hi!" I said. "Umm... Hi." He responded hesitantly. After my mind finally woke up as I realized something. "Oh wait. You need this spot for someone else don't you? I can just leave." I spluttered out as I started my car. He didn't respond and I was about to pull away when suddenly he said. "Wait! You can.. uhh.. stay there if you need to..." "Thanks!" I said loudly. God was I happy, mostly because I didn't have anywhere else to go. Suddenly I saw his eyes widen. Oh no. I just said that out loud. I slapped my hand over my mouth. "You don't have anywhere to go?" His voice was full of concern. No, no, no, this is not what I wanted, people feeling sorry for me. "I. Uhh..." I stuttered out while looking into his eyes. "You can stay at my place." He said kindly. I sat there staring at him, unsure of what to say. Suddenly he walked over to my side and opened the door, turned off the car and pulled me out. As I stood beside the car he grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and started to drag me over to his house.

(I'm sorry. Anthony's POV now...)

What was I doing? Some girl I had just met, hell I didn't even know her name, I was bringing her into my house. To stay. But I had to, because it was her. The girl from my dream. The one wearing a black long sleeve tee and dark blue skinny jeans and high top converse. With wispy black hair and piercing green eyes.

"Anthony! I didn't know it took so-" Ian stopped as he rounded the corner and saw her standing in our living room. "Who is she?" He asked while eyeing her up and down. "She doesn't have anywhere to go so I thought she could stay in our spare room." I told him. "Okay.. Well Mel and I are going out for lunch and I can't be late again, so I'll see you two later." He said as he picked up his keys and ran out the door.

"My name is Stella." I heard her say from behind me. "I'm 18 and I used to live in Portland, Oregon." I turned around and stared at her. I must've stared for a long time, because suddenly she waved her hand in front of my face. "Oh... uhh sorry.. I'll show you your room." I turned around and mentally face palmed. I was such an idiot.

We walked down the hall and into the room. It was full of props and random stuff but it could work. I tossed her bag on the bed and started cleaning the room, I turned around and saw her sleeves rolled halfway up her arms as she helped me clean the room. I saw them. Her scars.

_Her scars. From cutting._

It really was her. The girl from my dreams._ Stella..._ It had sounded beautiful on her lips and it sounded beautiful in my brain. I realized I was standing over her staring. Again. "Anthony are you okay?" She stood up and asked. "Yea, Stella I'll be in the living room, if you need anything just come and ask. Oh yeah, you can use that dresser." I said as I pointed towards the small dresser and walked out of the room.

**Thanks for reading Chapter 1. Please review... I Love reviews. They make me happy!**

**-Gwen-**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**HAI guys... its Gwen and I'm back for chapter 2!... Starts in Anthony's POV and will switch off...**

**P.S. In case it isn't obvious,** ~~~~ **means a POV switch**

_"Anthony..."_ I heard her whisper in my ear. _"I'm here."_ My whole body shudders as she touches the back of my neck. _"Save me Anthony..."_ Then the vision of her, Stella, in front of me is there again. Her arms bleeding, a knife in her hands, dead. And I'm crying again.

I wake up in the fetal position, my body racking with silent sobs. I hear the shower turn on and run. I get up and walk to the door of the bathroom open it and walk in. I grab my toothbrush and start brushing. I see a head poke out from behind the shower curtain. "Anthony?" I hear Stella ask. Oh shit. I walked in on Stella in the shower. "Can you finish brushing your teeth and get out? " She asks me kindly. "Uhhh... sure.." I say feeling the minty toothpaste drip from my chin onto my shirt. I quickly finish up and run out.

Ian sees me in the hallway after I close the door. "Someone forgot Stella was staying here." He laughs at me. "I wonder what Kalel would think about you walking in on a different girl showering?" Oh fuck, Kalel. I forgot about her. "Ian. Is she back in town?" I asked him. "Yea she got back last week. Why?" I ran over to my room and got dressed. Afterwards grabbing the phone off the receiver and plopped down on the couch; dialing Kalel's number.

(Switch to Stella's POV)

I was still reeling from the awkwardness of Anthony walking in on me showering. "Anthony?" I asked out into the hallway. "You okay?" I questioned as I rounded the corner. He was sitting on the couch wearing a soft green t-shirt, and dark blue skinny jeans with a hole over his right knee. I walked over the the couch as he put up his hand for me to stop talking, he was on the phone. "Kalel?" I heard him question the silver phone. "How were your parents?" I sat down on the love-seat beside him and watched as he ran his hand through his brown hair. I waited for a half-an-hour watching the T.V. on silent as he conversed with this mystery girl named 'Kalel'. "Bye Kalel. Love you." I heard him say, before punching the end call button. Oh. I thought. So 'Kalel' Must be his girlfriend.

"How can you watch the T.V. on silent?" He asked me abruptly. "I didn't want to interrupt you." I said hesitantly, fiddling with the bracelets that were covering up the scars that I had created on my forearms. "I'm sorry for walking in on you in the shower." He whispered, I could feel his eyes boring into my arms. Feeling self-conscious, I flipped them over to cover up the scars from his view. He couldn't and shouldn't know, about me. My fucked up life and my suicidal self. Suddenly I felt his hand lightly grab my chin and pull my head up so my eyes faced his. The chocolate eyes were full of concern, and worry. The two things I didn't want anyone to feel for me. "I... Its, just." I spluttered out, quickly ending my sentence as he pulled me into a hug. I didn't realize it at first but now I could feel them, the tears on my cheeks. I hated crying. I pulled away and wiped my eyes. I couldn't look like such a wuss to them. "I'm sorry." I manage. "C'mon lets go out to Ihop for breakfast. IAN! We are going out to IHOP!" Anthony yells, we hear crashing around Ian's part of the house then see him run into the living room. "Let's go!" He said excitedly and we went out.

(Okay It switches to Anthony's POV know, Im gonna have to find something new because fanfic aparrently doesn't like the thing I was using -_-)

The car ride is silent, well all except for Ian's excited IHOP ramblings. I'm still running over what happened this morning. I couldn't get the feeling of her touch off my skin. I never wanted to let go of her, I just wanted to sit there and let her cry until she couldn't cry anymore. I also couldn't get the image of her scars, obviously fresh and old ones, out of my head. It was worse than my nightmares about her. Knowing that those scars actually existed was horrible. Knowing that some of them were so fresh that they had just scabbed over was even worse. I was so lost in thought that I would've passed the IHOP if Ian hadn't said something. As we walked inside I could see that Stella was still shaken up by the events of this morning. We we walked over to a small booth in the corner of the restaurant. It was perfect that Stella and I sat on one side and Ian on the other. "Hey, Stel, you okay?" I heard Ian whisper. Her eyes were so puffy that you could probably see it from a mile away, no wonder he asked. "I'm fine," I heard her mutter, knowing it wasn't the truth. "Pancakes always make me happy." She finished with the most fake smile I had ever seen, though Ian and I let it go, knowing it was probably best not to pester her further. We ordered quickly, all three of us knowing exactly what we wanted. We ate slowly though, Ian and I talked about the Smosh video that was to be uploaded today, along with a Gamebang that needed to be filmed, edited and then uploaded. As we talked my hand eventually made it to Stella's and we held hands for most of the hour-and-a-half breakfast. That was until about 10:00. We were explaining to Stella what a gamebang was, when my pointer finger traced over the closest scar to her hand. She froze. "Stella." I said pulling my hand away immediately. "I'm sorry." I could see the tears already forming as she pulled her knees up to her chest and started to silently sob.

**I really don't know if that counts as a cliffhanger or not... Well please review because reviews are loved. But hey I'm starting to love this so who cares. But seriously, you give me reviews I will send you virtual chicken nuggets. And who says no to virtual chicken nuggets? Unless your a vegetarian or a vegan... then how about virtual french fries? **


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh god, I know I know. Its been like a million yearss since I updated. But this chapter took sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many drafts. God. It flipping sucked. So today we are going start with something quick in Stella's point of view, then jump back into Anthony's head. And I figured out a new POV switch signal thingy we are going to try...**

**123321**

**I figure that number sequence should be noticeable enough in the story so lets get to this!**

***Flashback from last chapter...* (To be said in cool mysterious voice...)**

As we talked my hand eventually made it to Stella's and we held hands for most of the hour-and-a-half breakfast. That was until about 10:00. We were explaining to Stella what a gamebang was, when my pointer finger traced over the closest scar to her hand. She froze. "Stella." I said pulling my hand away immediately. "I'm sorry." I could see the tears already forming as she pulled her knees up to her chest and started to silently sob.

***End of Chapter Flashback...* (Also to be said in cool mysterious voice...)**

**Real Chapter...**

**P.S. a little more swearing in this chapter...**

I sat with my knees to my chest. Now I know that Anthony knows. The feeling of his finger running the length of the scar connected to my worst memories was like a hot iron touching my skin. A feeling I would never be able to forget. Suddenly I felt warm soft arms encase my whole body. "I'm so sorry Stella." I heard Anthony whisper. His voice sounded choked, as if he was close to tears. As he held me my sobs slowly decreased into soft whimperings. As I tried desperately to wipe the tear stains off my cheeks I heard Ian say, "C'mon guys, let's go home."

**123321**

I felt like an asshole as we loaded into the car. What the fuck. What the actual fuck was I thinking? Touching her scars. Damnit! The ride home was quiet we had just turned the corner onto our street when I felt Ian tap my shoulder. "Ant, she's asleep." He said while pointing behind his chair. And there she was, curled up into the fetal position. As I pulled the car into a slow stop in our garage I heard Stella whimper a little in her sleep. "Anthony I'll wait out here, you carry her in." I nodded and jumped out of the car. After picking her up I noticed how light she was. Yea she was young, and she was only 5 foot 4 inches, but she felt like she weighed 90 maybe 95 pounds. Damn. Now I felt like I was just finding flaws in Stella. I guess thats what I'm doing, pointing out her cutting and then the fact that she looks like she's fucking anorexic. I set her down on her bed and pulled the covers up over her. After writing a quick note I had to head out. The guys would be pissed if we missed game-bang.

* * *

The ride to the studio was uneventful, but pretty awkward. Ian, nor I, tried to make any conversation on the way there. As we approached the studio I was preparing for an even more awkward game-bang when Mari sprinted out to meet us. "Okay. Spill it. What the hell is wrong. And its been fairly fucking obvious all week that something is up so don't try to brush it off." Thats it. I couldn't take it anymore, after what Mari just said I broke down. I slumped to the ground, broken. I looked up at Ian and Mari, concern filled their eyes, tears filling mine. "I'm such an ass. I touched her scars, I mentally accused her of being anorexic and I fell in love with her before I even knew her." The weight of my confession should feel like a weight being lifted off my shoulders, but it didn't it felt like I'd added a hundred more pounds. "Her name is Stella. I've been dreaming about her for two years now. All my nightmares are dreams of her, dying, killing herself. I fell in love with her, and then I met her. Oh god. What the hell is wrong with me?!" I could feel the tears start to float out of my eyes at an even faster rate, to the point where the sleeves of my sweatshirt were soaked from trying to wipe them away. "Nothing is wrong with you Anthony." I heard Ian and Mari say at the same time. "You love her, and you obviously care for her deeply. So nothing is wrong. The only thing is, what about Kalel?" Shit. Kalel. "Another reason why I'm a horrible person. I need to go home, tell them I'm sick." I said as I jumped in the car and sped off.

**123321**

I woke up in the house with a note and a glass of water on my nightstand. I drank the water like there was no tomorrow and my mouth was begging for more. After making sure I got every last drop I read the note.

_Stella._

_I'm probably the most sorry person on the planet right now. I hope you feel better. And eat something please._

_XOXO_

_Anthony._

Eat something, that reminded me, I had eaten probably the worst thing ever for my body this morning. Pancakes. I slipped out from under the warm covers and headed over to the solidarity of my bathroom. To.. well... puke it up. I'd been anorexic for 2 years now. Ever since my sophomore year of high school. The only good thing about it was when I was admitted to the hospital she couldn't abuse me. No, no,no I didn't want to think about that. As I regurgitated the food from my stomach I heard the bathroom door open. Oh, Shit.

123321

Where was she? I walked towards the bathroom. I'd already walked in on her in the shower what worse could happen. As I opened the bathroom door. I saw her. Forcing herself to puke. So I guess worse could happen. I slammed the door out and ran to my room.

What the hell was I going to do?

**So today I opened up some of Stella's shitty past and started to open up her eating disorder. Woo-fucking-hoo. I hope you liked it and more reviews means the faster I'll update. Next chap should be out soon though. (Sorry about the word regurgitate. Puke just didn't sound good enough.)**

**-Gwen-**


	4. Chapter 4

**What the heck did I do in the last chapter? Okay so I'm in the process of fixing fragments, grammar, and spelling mistakes (and just overall plot re-fixerings) in the last 3 chaps. So when I tell you, you should re-read them. Cause then they will make a ton more sense. Check my profile for more information! Leggo.**

I woke up to the feeling of a cold tile floor against my cheek. I then remembered crying myself asleep on the bathroom floor the previous night. Oh god. Last night. Using the bathroom counter I pulled myself up. As I stared back at my reflection I tried desperately to wipe off the tear stains. They needed to come off, I wanted no memories of last night. "Oh fuck it." I whispered as I broke down again. "Stella? Are you okay?" I heard Ian say quietly through the door.. He quietly opened the door, and sat down beside me. "Anthony told me what happened last night." He blurted out after a few minutes of silence. "We talked the night through. I'm so sorry Stella." He wrapped his warm arms around me as I cried into his shoulder.

123321

_"NO ANTHONY HELP ME!"_ I jolted up out of bed. Another dream. I pulled myself up out from under the covers and wiped the sweat off my forehead. After pulling on a t-shirt I stumbled down the hallway, heading for the kitchen. As I coerced the water down my throat I heard the padding of socks on the tile floor behind me. I turned around and saw her tear stained face. "Stella." I whispered. My glass dropping to the floor. I heard it shatter but didn't care. I stepped carefully over the glass and wrapped her up in my arms. "I'm sorry." I whispered. We stood like this for a minutes until she whispered. "Its not your fault." I pulled back and looked her in the eyes."Huh?" I said. it wasn't her fault. l I was being an idiot and forgot to lock the door" She said quietly. We stood for a minute in silence. I let go of her arms. She turned around and left the kitchen. What? What the hell?

123321

I walked quietly down the hall. I had to leave. I was screwing their lives up, getting in the way of Youtube, focusing them on my problems. I have to go. I grabbed my duffel bag off the floor and started to pick up my stuff, walking carefully around the house so they wouldn't hear me. I finished my packing and walked out to the living room. "Goodbye." I whispered then grabbed my keys and made my way out the door.

123321

"Crap." I whispered under my breath as I examined the glass mess on the floor. I bent down and lightly picked up the mess, not wanting to cut my hand up. Holding the glass carefully in my hand I walked outside to put it in the trash bin outside our house, and there she was. Stella was revving her engine up. What was she doing? I sprinted over to her car. "Stella what the hell? Where are you going?" She looked at me. Pain in her eyes. "Stella! Seriously don't leave!" I was crying and banging on her window. She turned her face away and looked out the windshield. She left. Too stunned to do anything, I fell onto the sidewalk. After a few minutes I felt someone touch my shoulder lightly. "Stella texted me. She needs to get away. Lets give her some time Ant." Ian said. His voice barely above a whisper. Grabbing my shoulder he helped me stand up and walk inside.

**I feel like crap because haven't updated in a million years. Well summer is around so I will update as much as possible and hopefully start an updating schedule. Especially considering I'm working on a couple of new stories. Yes this chapter is extra short but the next will be up ASAP cause I'm already halfway done. I will give you virtual puppies if you review. And everyone likes puppies. Plus if you're allergic you can have these kind they're virtual.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I told you I'd have the next chapter up sooner. (The first three chapters have been revised so go re-read them. They'll make more sense and I fixed a couple plot things.) I've decided I'll update my stories on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Weekends. Hope that makes sense. Some weeks (if you're lucky..) I'll post multiple Chapters for the same story. Just depends on how many I have in backlog. So let's get down to it. (Starts in Anthony's POV)**

I sat on the blue couch. Wringing my hands every few seconds, whilst staring at the phone on the coffee table. I had texted her 40 times since she'd left the previous day. I was going crazy. "Anthony?" I heard Ian walk in the room. "Kalel's coming over. She called earlier and said you hadn't answered any of her texts or calls since yesterday morning." It was true. I'd been ignoring every call, deleting every text. I was the worst boyfriend ever. "Okay." I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I sat for another ten minutes until I heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" Ian yelled. I stared down the door as Kalel walked in. "Anthony!" She yelled, running towards me. "What happened to you? You didn't answer any of my calls or texts." I took a deep breath and prepared myself. I looked Kalel straight in the face and said. "We need to break it off." Her face fell. I could see the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "I don't love you like I used to. I'm so sorry." She stood up slowly tears streaming down her face. "Goodbye Anthony." She said as she stood up. "Let's stay friends." Her voice sounded choked with sobs, and she walked out the door.

123321

I pulled into a Motel 8 parking lot and parked my car. I sat and assessed what I was going to do. I was going to stay in Sacramento. Going back to Portland would be bad for my mental health. Here I could start over, get a job, rent an apartment. Maybe make some friends. But most of all hopefully stay busy. For me busy meant distracted, and distracted, meant happy.

*** 2 Months Later ***

"Stella! Your 15 minute break is over!" One of my co-workers yelled from the front. I stood up and poured out the remaining bits of my coffee into the sink. I was working most of time waitressing in an upscale restaurant and whenever I had time, a small bookstore café. After tying the black apron on around my dark jean and long sleeved shirt that said "Page Turners Café" on the front and back I walked out into the open café. It was a late Friday night and I was working the Midnight to 6AM shift since the other restaurant I work at won't open tomorrow so I knew nobody would be here for a long time. "Stel, I'm leaving see you at 5!" Margaret (one of my co-workers) and she ran out the door. Since I was all by myself I picked up a book and started reading. Not wanting to wallow in my thoughts..

123321

She'd been gone for two months. Two whole months. Ian and I's weekly lunchtimes, gametimes, and gamebangs haven't been as much fun for me. She's all that's been on my mind. Eventually I told Kalel why we broke up. She totally understood and actually has been an amazing friend, she's helped me through a lot of this. I do feel bad though, like I'm just focusing on my problems and not caring about anyone else. So I try to distract myself. But its to hard. I'll wonder where she went, why she left, how she's feeling. I just can't wait for Stella to come back.

***** We're going to see the rest of this through Ian's POV *****

It was really killing Anthony. Stella not being here. He really had fallen for her. He hadn't been as involved in any of our weekly videos, his goal was to get them done as quick as possible then go back to thinking. That's all he'd done lately. Think. "Anthony." I yelled down the hall. "The games crew is coming over for dinner." After waiting for a few moments I heard him yell back "Okay!" And come out of his room. We ordered pizza and set up the xbox and got ready for everyone to come over. We waiter for about ten minutes before the four other SmoshGames counterparts came bursting in through the door. "Wow, you guys perfectly planned your arrivals." I said. "Actually we all carpooled in Josh's car." Matt responded. We all ate and played some Xbox games but about an hour into it Mari stood up abruptly and said. "Okay, where is she? I thought after like two months I would finally get to meet this mysterious 'Stella' girl. But she's obviously not here." I froze. Shit. How are we going to explain this one. "She left, about two months ago actually. We don't know why. But since only Mari knew of her, but only minimally, we didn't tell anyone." Everyone was quiet for a minute. "Oh." Mari whispered and plopped back onto the couch, looking, deflated. The next hour was really awkward, we just paid our attention to the game and eventually everyone decided to leave.

**Once again another shortish chapter. This one really lined everything up for the next chapter so it can flow smoothly. Okay listen up. I love Kalel. I did not, I repeat I DID NOT. Break them up cause I hate her. Seriously Kalel is amazing. But them not being in a relationship is how the plot is going to develop. I'm really saying that cause in others I've read where Anthony and Kalel break up some of those authors have gotten some hate for that. Even though they all usually explain why.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Well now I feel like shit for breaking them up. Anthony proposed to Kalel! I was watching the vlog it was in a and literally freaked out. Then I remembered this story... .-. But hey they really deserve each other, they're both wonderful people. So let's get on to the chapter. Oh I apologize for this being up so late. I've had a hectic summer. I've also abandoned the idea of a schedule.**

**Starts in Stella's POV**

I walked behind the bar-like counter of the Café staring out the windows in the back. It was 4 P.M. and I was covering one of my co-worker's shifts for her. I pulled down my dark blue long sleeve shirt and adjusted the cloth bracelets underneath. Ever since I'd left Anthony and Ian's my cutting had gotten worse and I had fallen harder into my depression. I unlocked my phone and sifted through my contacts. Anthony, Carson, Dr. James. Dr. James. A local depression counsler I had looked into going into seeing. I opened up the contact. I made sure no one was there and I dialed the number.

I scheduled an appointment for the next day, figuring the sooner the better.

***A month later***

It was my fifth appointment at Dr. James'. He'd prescribed me anti-depressants, and anti-anxiety medication on my first visit. My anorexia had improved slightly but not much. My self-harm had improved a lot though. With someone to tell how I was feeling I didn't feel the need to harm myself so often, though I still did it. "I'll see you next week Stella." Dr. James said as I walked out of his office with my head down. "Anthony, Anthony Padilla, ' can see you now." Jacilean the secretary said. My head shot up and my eyes darted around the bleak room. Anthony! Anthony! My head screamed, worsening my headache. He saw me and we connected eyes. We hadn't seen each other for at least 2 months. "Hey." I whispered. "Stay here. We're talking after this." He muttered, with an angry look in his eyes. He walked into the office, and I sat in a chair.

They were only in that office for an hour, but it felt like 5 minutes. My anixety was worsening, hopefully my meds would help it soon. Anthony walked out of the office said a quick goodbye to Jacilean then grabbed my hand forcing me out of the building. "What the fuck Stella!" He screamed as he sat me down on a bench. I could feel the tears begin to stream down my face. "A-A-Anthony, I-I-I" I stuttered, my sobs wracking my body. "YOU WHAT! You get up and leave us! You leave and act like none of it ever fucking happened. You act like a fucking ass and just leave us. Pretending we didn't give a shit about you!" I couldn't say anthing. He sat down on the bench and pulled me into his arms. "I'm so sorry Anthony." I whispered into his chest. "I left because I was screwing up your lives, focusing everything on my problems, so you couldn't live your own lives." The hand that was stroking my back stopped and he lifted my my face up so our eyes met. "No." He said sternly. "If we didn't care about your problems we would tell you. We fucking care. I care. I love you." He muttered the last part and I stopped breathing for a minute so my brain could process what he'd just said. I sighed and leaned into his chest. "I love you too, more than you know." I said to him. We sat for what felt like years, but was only half-an-hour. "I'm taking you home." He said leading me gently to his car.

We gathered my mere belongings from my small, bleak apartment and called my landlord to cancel my rental contract. We drove the 45 minute drive back to his house in silence. My left hand holding his right the whole time. It was about 7:00 P.M. We walked in the front door with Ian starting to yell immediately. "Anthony! What took you like 3 hours!" He ran into the front room, his jaw dropping when he saw my face. "S-S-Stella?" He stuttered. "Hey Ian." I said as he ran to me and pulled me into a hug. "I missed you so much! Why'd you leave? Where'd you go? Where'd he find you?" He started bombarding me with questions but suddenly stopped. "Actually, you look really tired. We can talk in the morning. Go to bed." He said, pushing me towards the hallway. I quickly got ready for bed, happy to get a good night sleep. After being curled up in my bed for a few minutes I felt a warm precense behind me. Turning over I saw Anthony and immediately buried my head in his chest. We layed there for a few minutes sastified in the other's embrace before he pulled back and grabbed my wrists. After kissing each of my scars he pulled me into a hug and saying. "We'll get through this together." Before falling into a much needed rest.

**So a bit of a cliche ending but I felt that it needed it. Yes this story is over. I was having some writers block with it but finally decided that I just needed to end it. I've put everything into the story I'd wanted to. I may write an epilouge but I doubt it. I'm working on some other stories too so I didn't want to have the constant nagging in the back of my mind to get this story done. Especially considering even writing one of the short chapters in this story took me forever. This specific chapter took me like 3 weeks. Woohoo! Well, thanks for reading! Remember I love constructive criticism**

**There is a Writer's note next chapter.**


	7. Writer's Note Please read after story

Welcome to my writer's note.

Enjoy.

I think.

**I DID NOT WRITE THIS TO GET YOUR "SYMPATHY" I WROTE THIS TO EXPLAIN THE STORY AND WHERE I CAME UP FOR THE IDEAS ETC. ETC. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ANY HATE REVIEWS ABOUT THIS WRITER'S NOTE.**

So writing this story was quite difficult. I've struggled with self-harm for about a year and a half now along with (all self-diagnosed) depression, social anxiety, and anorexia. None of it is "fun" or "easy". It sucks. Thats why I was able to write this story and make it feel "real". I wanted to put my thoughts and emotions into it. When I came up with the plot I was actually kinda of scared of writing about the topic of self-harm in general, knowing that it is a very sensitive topic to many. So in Anthony's orginal dreams from the first 2 or 3 chapters (I'm too lazy to go back and check) I basically gave the massive hint that *DREAM* Stella was suicidal. (I hope someone picked up on that .-.) I also intended that *REAL LIFE* Stella was not suicidal. I was actually going to make them re-meet at a bridge where she was about to kill herself, but I tried a million times and couldn't approach it right so I stuck with the therapist idea.

Don't even ask me about that dream buisness. I have no fucking idea where I came up with that. I just needed some way to start the story off instead of using "Once upon a time...".

**I specifically did not write any actual scenes of self-harm, because of the triggering factor (for myself and others).**

I really hope you enjoyed the story! Constructive criticism is LOVED! Seriously it will help me with my other stories.

Sorry about my swearing. Just part of who I am.

3 Gwen

(Oh yea. My real name is Kristin but one of my nicknames is Gwen (lol, its cause of my middle name) so I use that to sign off with.)

**I DID NOT WRITE THIS TO GET YOUR "SYMPATHY" I WROTE THIS TO EXPLAIN THE STORY AND WHERE I CAME UP FOR THE IDEAS ETC. ETC. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ANY HATE REVIEWS ABOUT THIS WRITER'S NOTE. **


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